Are you a whore or a player?

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A girl in a mini-skirt with crop top passes you by and easily the word “slut” crosses your mind for the small amount of cover over her body. However, when a man passes by shirtless, why have I never heard him being called a “slut” before? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on men but rather the mentality 21st century people have. I’ve never had a liking for labels, but our society is defined by them. For it, now females are not realizing that their suppressing themselves from a healthier outlook of themselves.

Clearly, you can tell I’m a feminist but this isn’t about how all men are horrible blah blah. Of course, I don’t appreciate centuries of women being treated like property and still have to deal with traditional men often but before men can treat women as the diamonds they are, females have to realize that they are gems.

From experience, I can relate to a how a man in your life can repress a woman despite modern times of equality. When I was younger, that man was my father. Compared to now, before my father was extremely traditional and conservative believing a woman’s place was in the kitchen. His close-minded personality took root in the troubled relationship with my mother. Even though, he has improved greatly for my sister and I’s effort in opening up to the new world, it doesn’t prevent me from feeling hate every once in awhile in remembering how it felt to be locked within a confined space mentally and emotionally because someone put me there without my consent.

However, as I’ve become more aware and righteous, I’ve realized that despite how much I despised my father for his previous personality, it wasn’t entirely his fault. Even till this day, I know many females that don’t like feminists, in fact outright hate them. To me, it means those women don’t value themselves. Why? A feminist isn’t about whether it should a patriarchal or matriarchal society, hating on all men, or ambitious women; its about confined to certain measures or labels because we’re a women.

For example, within the beliefs my parents practice that I don’t agree on is that when a male has a lustful thought about a female, its the female that has sinned. The reason is because she should have covered herself from men’s eyes. I never felt more unjust than at that moment when I discovered this. A woman should be praised and proud of being beautiful because each one is. They should not need to cover themselves from wandering eyes because if you believe in god, you were made by your god. Since then I haven’t had the strongest faith in following my parents belief and have chosen to create my own beliefs that are open minded and suit the time we’ve progressed too.

The education system clearly hasn’t progressed on the other hand. Dress code is no stranger to a child attending school. If a school does not have uniforms than they must wear appropriate clothes. However, the dress code is basically for girls. I have NEVER seen someone comment on a boys clothing goes against the dress code. Its always the girls the teachers walk like hawks to see if their dress reaches their fingertips or not wearing tank tops. Whats the purpose of this code anyway? Apparently, a girls outfit may create a distraction in the class for the MALES if it were inappropriate which is why its implemented.

Others when reading this may say, well than a girl shouldn’t choose to dress like a slut. Well I say, the word shouldn’t even exist anymore if we have truly progressed as far as we believe. It should be a word that has faded into the past but however that’s far from the truth. Some refer to “sluts” as females that wish to be assaulted upon, often using such explanations to justify their act of assault upon another. In reality there is no justification.

When I still hear my peers call a man who has dated and slept with many girls a player but a woman who does the same things a whore, I feel disappointment in our current society. Either both are players or both are whores. In the end, I still believe that the existence of such words or labels are a taint on society. A person should not be confined within a small box by one word for their actions. If they want to have sex, then let them. Why is it necessary to rain on their parade?

We are still far from progressing into such a mentality but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t even try to take the first step. I want to imagine my future without such shenanigans where people let others just be happy.

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One comment

  1. Very well written! I think you bring up some very valid points. Also, as a fellow feminist I can understand your frustrations with individuals misinterpreting the meaning of being a feminist. It’s not about misandry but about equality.

    Like


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