Is it forbidden love at work or unnecessary drama with a determined ending?

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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
-Mark Twain

I can only imagine what it’s like to face something forbidden. As if you’re facing a bright red juicy apple that makes your mouth water just looking at it. It’s telling you that it’s worth the try in just taking one tiny little bite even if it makes you just plop into the ground like good, sweet little snow white into an eternity of sleep. All I can get out of it is that it must have been one hell of an apple!

Right now, that dangling delicious apple is a boy in my sister’s eyes. Even though, delicious wouldn’t be my words to describe him but that’s beside the point. The point is, is he really worth the storm that’s going to obliterate the thin thread this families hanging upon? I can only hope so but if only hoping were enough, then I would just be hoping every single moment of my life but that’s far from helping me being the little black sheep in the family. Without my consent I was already dragged into a hurricane. I’ve already made sure to make it aware that I’ll be out of the country for the tornado? To think of it, I don’t know which is worse, a hurricane or a tornado? Whichever you decide, that represents the one I’ll be gone for. Let’s start from the beginning.

It’s actually quite a romantic story to tell our grandchildren later, to be honest. It was the summer before my sister would begin her first year in college and to celebrate her defining bridge between adolescence and adulthood, she traveled to Argentina under a scholarship to study abroad. My parents couldn’t be more proud, while others in the society looked down upon us with disapproval for allowing her to go. Simultaneously, the kids of other parents expressed their jealousy for the very same reason of our parents allowing her to go and not being as strict as theirs. Only my sister and I knew how much hard work it had taken to open our parents up over the past few years, so we let them think our parents had always been “cool.” Off she went on her month long journey in a foreign country alone, where she met her current boyfriend who also went under the same program. As expected Facebook played its vital role in causing the alarms to go off in my mom’s mind when she saw pictures with both of them while they were there and just so you know, my mother has a crazy instinct in being able to tell when two people are going to end up having a relationship way before it even happens. (Trust me; she’s been accurate so many times that even I’m freaked out.) So, as expected she begins to go on a rampage on how that boy was not a good sign and something was going to happen. She apparently could sense it. Being the good daughter and sister, I repeatedly assured her countless of times throughout the summer that nothing would happen. My sister was known for her unbelievably high standards and her ice queen personality. I mean, it’s impossible to please her. She was the type of girl to say “I hate you” back to a girl who said “I love you” that was five and adorable. Just so you know that girl was me. I even thought at one point she was a lesbian when I saw her lack of interest in boys throughout high school. Clearly, nothing would happen right? (Even now my mom says, “I told you so…”)

My sister returns and she’s shipped off to college for her first year. About several months later since she returned, she calls me one day when I was alone in the house. I thought it was like any phone call where we would just talk for hours catching up, but it became so much more than that. I guess it was throw balls of confessions day because she threw them at me…hard…and fast.

Apparently it had been months already since she had begun dating. I’m already blowing steam off in finding out so late but she explains saying she thought it would already be over. Before I could ask why it wasn’t over then, she started to tell me how, in her words, the boy was crazy for her in Argentina. Even though she had rejected him several times, he wore her down and she finally gave in. In the meanwhile, I’m only thinking of how this was equal to a dream about flying unicorns and talking monkeys. I didn’t think she realized how much of a donkey butt she was during that period.

I get it. I mean I think its fine she began to date. I get it that she ended up dating someone who my parents would never approve of because he wasn’t of the same religion or country. I get it that she hid it from us. What I don’t get is the drama she caused and still plans to cause in the future?

All parents, despite whomever, often has standards for their children’s partners to meet. For example, they have to be from the same country, same religion, smart, good background, or etc. For it, I try to be understanding of my parent’s restrictiveness and just respond to them that I’m not marrying in the future. That was my way of ending the discussion. My beloved sis begins to start an all-out war of how she has the right to date anyone she wants. She’s right that she does, but come on baby steps! We’ve gotten so far and she just wants the new, progressed mentality we began to build within our parents minds to just self-destruct. Recently it’s like my parents are the volcano and my sister is the hot molten lava just waiting to erupt.

I did my part in telling her to at least tell mom, knowing that if she told our father, he would basically disown her and I mean seriously disown her. In fact he had once done it before but that’s a story for another day. The main issue I had was that she kept trying to seek approval from me to justify her actions. I had the same issue, 10x worse but since my huge breakdown, I’ve learned to not care whether I please someone or not. I told her then, that if he’s worth all the trouble that’s going to happen in the near future than I’m alright with it but if she’s not even sure, I told her to think it over. There was no turning back from the road my sister was walking on. This could either break or make our family, breaking be the 99.9999% of the most likely occurrence.

Exactly one week later, on a late Friday night I was returning from a debate tournament. I was late, crashing from several cups of coffee, tripping over my high heels from the painful cuts it was digging into the back of my feet, and scared out of my mind of the empty city streets I was walking on to get to the subway. To give myself assurance, I called my sister on my cell to have someone to talk to while walking down the streets. If only she knew it wasn’t such a great time to drop that bomb of hers.

She decided to be an obedient older sister that night by having a hurricane waiting for me at home when I was looking so forward to my warm, comfy bed. That hurricane was my mother…in the process of registering the news of her golden child disappointing her over the phone where she couldn’t rip her head off. Guess who got most of that brunt force? OMG, me!

The minute I arrived home that day, I was bombarded with questions by my mother with an accusatory tone of how I hadn’t told her the minute I found out. The next few months were rough between my mother and sister where I was the acting bridge between the two of them. I was a bit bitter in the fact my sister was a coward in hiding out while I dealt with the problem. It was, however, a different experience compared to them both ganging upon me together. I make sure to remind them till this day, whenever they do attempt to gang up on me, that I was the one that had kept their relationship intact in the first place which I never heard a thank you from.

It didn’t end up mattering with all the nonstop of drama that this outing had caused. It was like a row of dominoes just falling without any sign of stopping. One thing I had observed was that a person in a relationship was like a person PMSing 24 hours a day. One minute their happy and fine like their high and the next second their crying like the world has ended.

Out of this tumultuous relationship my sister has decided that she wishes to go long term with this guy. I had to admit that when I went to visit her, he treated her like any prince charming a girl dreams about when their young. He gives her flowers every week, before the ones he gave before wilts. He takes out the chair for my sister, holds the door for her, and basically showed that his life revolved around her.

I can’t help but feel happy for her to find someone that treats her more than right on her very first try even though she doesn’t know if she loves him. In a way I guess that was the deciding factor for my sister. For our whole life we’ve seen how our father acted horribly towards our mother. I guess she decided that finding someone that loved her and took care of her was more important than the epic love talked about in books. Along her journey of finding her one that was against all the values of our parents, she also succeeded in snatching away of my any slim hopes of finding my other one. I’ve always been pessimistic about relationships and have vowed to not ever get married for my parents. However, even that future has been taken from me as my sister demands me to marry someone of our parent’s approval in her place if she doesn’t The sad part is my mother’s already making extra effort in me not turning into another disappointment in that department.

As always, as my life is being stolen from within my grasps, will they both end up happy and be able to keep our family together despite all the forces against them or is this another failed attempt of falling in love to be placed down in record that will in the end break apart our family anyway, and drag me down into the black hole they’ve created with them? Despite my utmost curiosity in their future, I’m scared for mine. I can’t help but feel a bit bitter that as much as I wish it didn’t my tomorrow is tied with theirs. I’ve just begun putting the pieces together but will their college love story break me apart again? This time will I be able to forgive them? My family was gone when I needed them the most, my sister busy in her relationship, my mother out of the country to get a break from us, and my father at work usually. I guess we’ll have to wait to find out…

 

 

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