Clash of Thoughts

8800-Runaway-BridePeople have always differed on where they stand on many matters that make debates possible. It’s what gives freedom of speech its importance. It allows each person to get their side of the story out to the public so that others can choose whether to take your side or another’s. Knowing this, I tried to be as open minded as I could while the topic of marriage arose while talking to my relatives. They believed that a girl should be married in their early twenties, like really early. For example, they had already decided to get my sister married off at the age of twenty one. For now, let’s forget the fact that a third person just decided when my sister would marry but twenty one?! That’s like the year you get to have your first legal drink. That’s when the partying and the best of years of your life begin. I don’t plan on ever drinking but it puts in perspective to how young they expect to marry a girl off while the ideal age for men are in their 30’s. So, basically, a nine years difference is totally normal because the guys go off in the further studies and apparently females don’t. However, what even shocked me more is that they still expect my sister to do amazing career wise because we live in the United States. It still amazes me that they actually think what their saying is completely logical.

First of all, I have no problem with a woman getting married at 21. However, I do believe that it should be entirely the girl’s choice rather than someone telling her that now is the right time. I told them that the fact that apparently everyone wants my sister to be the traditional doctor, they were basically planning on destroying her livelihood with an early marriage. Crazy student loans are no secret when it comes to medical school. If my sister got married that early, it would be impossible for her to create a prosperous home with a house and kids without being in serious debt. So, basically all the rage about being a doctor would be meaningless.

A girl should have just as much a right in establishing their career and then getting married rather than putting their career second because they have to get married first. In other words, the fun of life is juiced out of their lives. To add on, if you think about it, we’re tied to another human being longer than we are single and of course, there is no guarantee a girl will be happy in the marriage like my mother who had a bright future but then had to leave her career to be a housewife for her conservative husband. Now, the woman has two problems to deal with, her unhappy marriage, and her career. But of course, it’s normal for the woman’s happiness to be the sacrificial lamb when it comes to fulfilling societal expectations. Even though, I backed out of the argument with my mother’s brother to keep our relationship intact, in the back of mind I swore that I would not let them destroy my happiness. I’ve already seen how they’ve destroyed my mother, who’s a living example of how her own family unknowingly threw her into the flames of hell for tradition.

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2 comments

  1. “..it’s normal for the woman’s happiness to be the sacrificial lamb when it comes to fulfilling societal expectations.”
    This is saddening. And I think we should not let that happen. Women or not, we shouldn’t always give in to what others expect of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Sick Expectations | Bittersweet Sensations


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