It’s been so long… I’ll be honest, I’ve been all over the place. One day I was okay and the next I wasn’t. However, I can truly say I’m okay now. I surprised even myself when I realized I was saying the truth of how I’m truly happy now and have begun loving myself when meeting my friends for the first time in a year. Is this what people talk about when mentioning the beauty of falling down? I won’t lie and say I’m fantastic. However, I am in the process of getting better. Plans and goals have already been made, now one can only hope I go through with them. So, I’m writing this in a way to make sure that I don’t back out by have more witnesses.
I’ve always been skinny but ate pretty well and was quite fit but however as you can guess, sitting at home for a year not moving around and having an appetite of a squirrel has changed that. I’m planning on starting three hobbies one by one which are, rock climbing, swimming, and zumba, although I haven’t done any of them before. I guess it’s my way of starting anew. All my old hobbies like singing have kind of faded into the background after my break down. Hopefully one day, I’ll pick them up again but for now starting with a clean slate is my plan and hopefully being more active again will increase my food intake (fingers crossed).
Of course, there’s school too. I have to admit I was dreading facing this the most but now I’m more hopeful when I think about it. Luckily, I took so many classes beforehand, I can finish four years of high school in three years if I can start attending high school without freaking out so yeah, even if I have to slap myself upright I’m going to make this happen. I’m going to start my life once again and get out of this long pause that I’ve kept myself in.
So, wish me luck and just by reading this your helping make sure that I’m going to at least attempt to get out of the house and try to take one step at a time towards my goals because obviously I can’t let you down. Then, hopefully one day I’ll learn to realize that not letting myself down should be enough of a reason to make it happen.