Somewhere I Don’t Want to Be

cha12imageI love this place. I’m crazy for it. It makes it even better that this place makes me fall for myself one post at a time. But right now, I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here, physically writing these very words this exact moment.

I’m not sure why. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s because every time something eventful or insightful would happen throughout the week, I was mentally writing my next blog post. It’s insane that every single time, whenever I come up with an idea or something to write about on here,  I never once actually wrote it out on this blog.

Every post, it’s always in the moment. I write the words before they even come to me. It’s exhausting and irritating when I think about the past week of mentally working on this blog but liberating when I write something completely different. All of a sudden all those ideas, thought, and incessant ranting in my mind just disappear and I realize that this is the one place where I don’t want to plan. I don’t want to outline what I write or will write about, even if it’s a mental note to myself.

Because that’s what this has always been. A place to lighten the burden. To make me feel as if a huge weight has lifted from every part of my body. To feel as if I’m literally, in the moment.

A blogger once suggested to make a little box filled with slips of paper with a word on each of them, when you would go through writer’s block to force you to post more often as a schedule. The words were meant to provide inspiration when you would sit down to write your post but nothing would come up.

I made it and every time I would put my hand in and take a word out, I would look at it, put it aside and write about something completely different.

I ended up putting the word back into the box because it hadn’t still provided me that inspiration.

Now the box continues to gather dust. I honestly can’t believe that I just wrote about not wanting to be here. It’s awkward, makes no sense, and feels as if I just shot my lover.

But it doesn’t matter, right? At least I stayed faithful.  😉

Advertisements

34 comments

  1. I really appreciate this post. I can definitely relate, My blog took on a life of it’s own as well. Every time i plan to write, i end up writing something completely different than what i had planned. I just shared on another post how i strongly believe we’re all just tools the universe uses to communicate through us. The more post i read like this, further supports my theories lbvs. Thanks for sharing and supporting my “Insight” blog post as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m happy you can relate, of course not the gathering ideas because that can be hard and tiresome. But it helps to know you’re not the only one and there’s so many others struggling as well. Thank you for reading!! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So, not just me then?? Planning that is. If I do that it always writes wrong myself. Spontaneity is key, in my world at least, and judging by replies and your post this is true for many…thank you for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Maybe if you take the pressure off yourself and only write when inspired it will flow more. If you’re not feeling it don’t force it. This post was about what you were feeling in the moment and this was a great and honest post with lots of responses of feeling the same. Wishing you an inspirational day!! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I wrote one of my more popular posts seconds after having the thought to do so. I just stopped walking, took out my phone, fired up the WordPress app, tapped on the little screen for a few minutes as the sun slid down the sky, added some tags and tapped on ‘Post’. Within a couple of minutes, four people had read it and had started to click on ‘Like’.
    Maybe you could consider something like that? 😉

    This was the post, in case you are interested: https://levishedated.wordpress.com/2016/03/31/happiness/

    Liked by 2 people

      • I also read while I’m walking down the street. I used to bump into lamp-posts and stuff when I first started, but it becomes easier with practice. I guess the reason I was able to be spontaneous is that I write a heck of a lot, and so … well, it’s about becoming better through practice? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I definitely can relate! I have 3 in my draft that haven’t been completed and I tend to write better on the spur of the moment! Whenever I plan a post it never comes out the day that I want! I totally get it!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You know what? I believe writer’s block occurs when you are to focused on a specific subject you want to write about. Then you don’t come up with the post you wish you would and the more you try to the more you block out all the other thoughts that would offer you enough food for great posts. So by taking this piece of paper with the word on it out of the box you break this pattern and free yourself up again. I read about this box with prompts in it a while ago as well and I use it as well. It’s a great idea…

    Liked by 1 person


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s