Today I decided I would make a little venture to my second little haven in the city. Starbucks. Some people say it’s overrated, others say the hype is totally warranted. Honestly, I needed inspiration and Starbucks somehow never fails to lift my spirits. I’m not sure if it’s the divine drinks…or just the plain atmosphere they provide. The dim lights, the aroma of coffee, and the warmth. Another plus is they’re found on every corner. But my favorite has always been the one near my old home that I moved from. It’s as homey as they get. They have little sofas lining one side. The huge space and the interior never fails to comfort me.
So I thought I can’t bring myself to write, what could be better than taking a little trip to that old Starbucks? I regret it. Not entirely though per say because I am writing! But it’s so crowded. There’s people everywhere.
Despite how outgoing, well communicative, and sociable people describe me as, the past two years have changed me. I still am the same person from before but I’ve learnt to appreciate the quiet. The need to learn to be okay with being alone when you want to be. And now I did need a moment of quietness in my little safe haven in the corner of the city other than my home.
It does help though that people are trickling out, rushing home to their families and home made dinners.
It’s strange though. It was almost physically hard not to write when I was depressed. I was raw and my emotions flowed almost eloquently on paper…almost romanticizing my pain.
But I feel so awkward and brisk as I write these words because I’m so happy. The past few weeks I genuinely feel happy. It doesn’t feel like a lie. Neither does it feel fake. Neither do I question whether if I’m actually happy or not.
To think something as simple as just feeling an emotion was so hard for me before. It didn’t feel real, a farce before. However, it is my reality now. It will be.
It won’t be a dream or a goal I’ll have where when people ask what do you want for your future and I naively respond, just to be happy.
I am already happy now. Now, I can finally aim to achieve the dreams that I’m meant to achieve. Be the successful career woman I see myself to be.
So excited for my future!!! ❤
P.S Maybe I did need this.